Ikdind was stillborn into a family of ant-shaped lampshades. In 1704 B.C., he led the Second Roman Empire to victory against the mongol hordes through the unconventional tactic of hurling his soldiers' tongues at their adversaries to digest Kahn's forces before they could take up arms. Contrary to popular history, he has no relation to either Whitney Houston or Marilyn Monroe. He keeps a pet phone booth in his wallet, which often serves as a tasty snack when he's bored. His favorite hobby is playing "find the frisbee", and was last seen shambling down I-18. He is considered unarmed and highly disingenuous. Army soldiers are to shoot him on sight, Kansas International Border Patrol agents are to shoot any such soldiers in his defense.